Happy Release Day to Me!

Well, doesn't that feel the tiniest bit lonesome? LOL. It is a bit of a me-party around here today as I celebrate the official release of Maladaptive into the book world.

It started as a therapy exercise. A journal. An attempt to revive my creative energy by clearing out the mental and emotional clutter that was getting in the way. I wasn't even convinced it would work. 

If I'd only known then that it would work, that the mental and emotional clutter purge WAS the creative act? 

It's probably for the best that I didn't know. The moments when it did finally click that "Oh, I AM writing, this IS creativity, I AM inspired" were little bursts of joy that I kept quietly to myself while I built that fire back up inside. A new fire, different from the old fire. Now it's just a matter of continuing to stoke that fire and not worry too much about what the rest of the world thinks... or doesn't think... about it.

As part of my Release Day activities, I posted the following on my Instagram, and I want to share it here too, because it gets to the heart of the matter, I think.

This book is for all the daydreamers and misfits out there, maladaptive or otherwise. I do see you and I hope this book finds you and makes you laugh and helps you feel a little more connected to yourself and to the universe.

The Maladaptive Arcana

File this under things I do that are not writing but are related to being obsessed with my own book and the world it contains.

I was thinking about creating character art, but something about that just didn't sit right with me. I think there are genres, like fantasy and sci-fi, where character art is really part of the world-building experience and I absolutely can see how creating character art can be helpful for the writer and also helpful to readers, allowing them to envision characters who may look like nothing we've ever seen before. That makes total sense to me.

For a book set in "the real world", I don't really get it, to be honest. And I know it's a very, very popular thing to do, and I'm not knocking anyone who created character art for their "real world novel, it's 100% a subjective preference and it seems very on trend as well. I'm cool with it. I'm just saying that when I thought about doing character art for Maladaptive, it just didn't feel like the right thing to do.

Probably because I try to avoid being overly prescriptive about how characters look. I like to let people's imaginations fill in the blanks. I may say someone had a "Ferris Bueller vibe" or mention a specific detail about them, like their freckles or dimples or unruly hair or smokeshow body, but I love the idea that readers will use those attributes as a jumping off point to fill in the blank spaces and make those characters their own, in a way.

It doesn't matter to me if someone's version of one of my characters looks different than how I imagine them. And as a reader, I don't really like to be hemmed in by character descriptions. My mind will draw a picture of each character, and sometimes it might look somewhere in the ballpark of what the author described, or they may have a vibe about them that makes me picture them completely differently.

So the idea of locking down specific appearances for Maladaptive's characters just didn't feel right, even if I have a specific idea of how they look in my own mind. What I do want to convey is their vibe.

When I started thinking about how to do that, it stopped being about the characters at all and started being about the book's themes. I've talked a lot about the themes in the chapter discussions in this blog, and so I loved the idea of illustrating the themes as a way of illustrating the world, if that makes any sense. And what better way to illustrate the themes of Maladaptive than... tarot cards!

Now tarot is a pretty locked-in system - there are some variations, but for the most part, the number of cards and the themes they represent are pretty static. But there are volumes of other types of oracle cards out there (and that's what tarot is, a formalized oracle) that follow their own system and encompass their own themes. So while I've stylized The Maladaptive Arcana in a very tarot-like manner, they aren't tarot, they're more generally, an oracle. But enough talking! I came up with four main cards.

	The Dreamer ~The protagonist/main character ~Daydreaming/maladaptive daydreaming ~Neurodivergent/ADHD ~Wish fulfillment ~Seeking validation, recognition ~Unrealized potential ~Inner conflict
	The Island ~Fantasy location ~Mirror to The Dreamer’s reality ~A place to explore desires and fears ~Consequences ~Storytelling/worldbuilding ~Self-soothing/self-destruction ~Survival/rescue ~Catharsis
	The Universe ~Multiverse ~Timelines/dimensions ~Creativity/art ~Inspiration/The Muse ~Connection ~Wavelength/frequency ~Taking chances ~Coincidence/serendipity ~Fate/destiny ~Free will
	The Memento ~Safety/protection ~Core memory ~Moment captured in time and space ~Alternate realities ~Barrier between reality and fantasy ~Fragility ~Portal/magical realm

My hope is that in some way, these four cards illustrate the vibe of the story, albeit cryptically, without giving away any spoilers. And they were fun to make. Are they a good substitute for character art? Maybe, maybe not. That's not for me to say. They'd make fun stickers or bookmarks for a giveaway though. Hmm....

A Tale of Two Proofs

Most of the subreddits I follow that are devoted to writing, self-publishing, indie publishing, book cover design, and so on, stress me out more than actually providing useful information. Not to say they haven't opened my eyes to some very important things I never would have thought of as a debut self-publisher in the online realm. But most of the time, Posts in those threads pique my anxiety and make me feel overwhelmed and that I'm approaching this all wrong.

I can't remember what subreddit or thread or post I encountered about whether to apply a matte or glossy finish to a book cover. I hadn't even thought about it until then. But the gist of the post and the comments on it was that the cover finish generally depends on the category/genre of the book. The consensus was that matte is the preference for most fiction, and that glossy is generally the style for YA and non-fiction.

At the same time, there was some discussion about the physical qualities of each finish. Stuff about fingerprints, cover paper quality, and the way colors come across. That particular point stood out to me. The point that matte covers absorb light and so darker colors tend to become muted, whereas with a glossy finish, the colors pop more due to the way the finish reflects light. That was intriguing.

However, the majority of posters in that thread were of the opinion that matte was the better choice. It's the standard for general fiction, I guess. Seen as more serious, more sophisticated. Since I want to be considered an author of sophisticated fiction and I want to be taken seriously, that made my mind up for me. Maladaptive would have a matte cover.

My proof arrived earlier this week, and I've been reading through it to catch any straggling errors and tidy it up before I upload the official manuscript (non-sequitur: the eBook was originally scheduled to release April 1, but after receiving the proof I realized I wanted a bit more time with it before it goes live, so I pushed the eBook release back to April 7).

Honestly, the proof looks fantastic. The interior looks pretty sweet, and I'm impressed with the overall quality of the cover and the cream paper. Nothing about it seems cheap or amateur. It's pro and I love it. But I did note that the dark teal on the cover reads almost black. And that got me curious what the glossy version would look like.

So I ordered a glossy proof as well to compare. It arrived yesterday and... HOLY MACKEREL. I mean, look at the difference...

The difference in the vibe is astounding, to me at least. And I don't mean the matte version is more sophisticated or serious or reflective of the genre. I mean the matte version is so inhibited, and it just literally faded into the background, as the glossy version is so vibrant, sparkling and shining and gleaming in my hands. It looks so friggin' amazing that there is no doubt in my mind (well, except for the people on Reddit nagging in the back of my mind) that glossy is the way to go, at least for this book.

It actually got me feeling a little emotional and verklempt. Rhianna's "Diamonds" started playing in my head. It's really stunning. And that's what matters, I think. It should be less important whether or not its the standard finish for the type of book that it is, and more about the unique needs of the cover itself and what serves it best.

And so, I think I'm breaking up with matte to go with glossy. It's screaming to me that this is the right decision. Reddit might tell me I'm wrong, but I don't care. Well, I care a little. But not enough to be dragged back down to a finish where light and color go to die.

It's feeling pretty real now. Today I will upload the final official manuscript to Amazon KDP. I feel a little dumb for pushing the eBook release back but, I didn't have any pre-orders anyway and approximately five people in the world are aware this is even happening, so the impact of that is minimal. 

I may decide to move the print version release up. I mean, why not? What's the value of holding it back until the scheduled April 28th date? If the interior is ready and I've decided on the cover finish, then I might as well just push the button, right? I suppose I could use the three weeks to "build buzz" but let's be serious, building buzz is not exactly my strong suit. So stay tuned for me to change that date as well. Trying to predict the release date felt like closing my eyes and pointing at a calendar. It's like I said before. It's a snow globe, not a crystal ball.