Hard Work and An Object in Motion

Chapters 19 and 20 are now posted to Inkitt, and I’m all dysregulated.

Prior to posting these chapters, something really cool and wonderful happened. A reader who has been keeping up with the story and engaging through reactions and comments did me an absolute solid and wrote a 5-star review on the first 18 chapters. I was not expecting a review to come when I’m only 1/3 of the way through posting the book, but obviously I’m thrilled.

They had some very lovely things to say about the story so far, acknowledging that it isn’t finished yet, and expressed that they’re excited to read the rest of it. And now I’m freaking out, because what if I fuck it up? What if the story unfolds in a way that doesn’t live up to the 5-star rating and the glowing review? I’m thinking of something specific that happens in Act III that might actually endanger what readers think of this story.

And now I’m considering changing it, though I don’t really want to. I suppose I have some time to think about it, but it calls into question my entire thinking behind the intent of this story, and that feels bad. I can’t really talk about it yet, but… when I get there, I’m going to have to hash it out here.

And I’m also dysregulated because since receiving the lovely review, no one has yet read the two new chapters I’ve posted. The ones I’m going to talk about right now.

The chapter title Hard Work might give the impression that Cara is hard at work writing the manuals for the luxury sex toy line, having made the decision to ghost River and focus on that. But it’s really a play on how hard it is for her to work under the condition of having to choose between the two options.

So she doesn’t. She continues to avoid moving forward with either one, letting herself get carried away by her island survival fantasy. To an outside observer, this might look like she is being outrageously lazy and irresponsible. But the daydreaming isn’t just a pleasurable way to procrastinate. It’s become a compulsion and a stress-induced coping mechanism. It’s become maladaptive. She has lost control (or has she given it up? We'll come back to that).

Her avoidance effectively leads to someone else making the decision for her, essentially “leaving it up to fate”. An Object in Motion shows how removing one of the options, even if it was the safe one, clears the blockage. With “fate” having stepped in and decided for her, she now suddenly has the energy, focus and motivation to move forward with the remaining option: River’s recording offer. The stress isn’t gone – far from it. But now she has no choice.

It's kind of complicated to unpack something like this. Did she do it on purpose, or did she not? And I think it’s one of those things where both are true. On some level, I think Cara was exerting control, however passively and indirectly, over the situation in that she knew that if she avoided taking action long enough, that one of the offers would be rescinded. And yet at the same time, letting fate decide is basically a form of surrendering control.

But it’s also clear she didn’t want to lose her job. She wanted to work. She just couldn’t. The compulsion, addiction if you will, to the dopamine reward that her daydreaming delivers was too powerful.

So it’s nuanced, and layered, and I don’t think there is a nice and tidy way to explain it.

Cara’s Maladaptive Daydream: The Island Survival Story

I want to talk specifically about the daydream sequences for a minute. They’ve evolved from being fleeting diversions or scenarios to predict and respond to potential outcomes in Act I to forming a narrative in Act II.

There is an end that Cara wants to get to with this daydream narrative. But going straight there isn’t going to give her the satisfaction (the dopamine hit) that she’s looking for. She needs to draw it out, construct a storyline around it, apply deep character and plot development, with exhaustive context and detail, so that when she does finally feel like she’s ready to reach the end, she’ll receive a hefty payload.

I don’t know how much research has been done on maladaptive daydreaming, but in this way, it closely resembles an addiction. I am speaking from experience here. There is a world-building element that can become so compelling and powerful that it supersedes the effort required to stop and focus on real life tasks.

What I think is neat (not that having a maladaptive daydreaming disorder is neat, that’s not what I mean) is what her daydream represents from a macro-level storytelling standpoint.

If the “A Story” (main plot) of this book is the action taking place: Cara and Griffin’s trip to L.A. and the events there, their return home and Cara’s decision avoidance leading to the next action she takes – going back to L.A. to start recording with River, Styles tagging along and presenting a new decision for Cara to make regarding a writing project (OMG I haven’t even touched on that part of the chapter!)

Then Cara’s island survival daydream is essentially the “B Story” (subplot) of this novel! It wasn’t until I was nearly finished the first draft of Act II and moving into Act III when I realized this. And without meaning to, even some aspects of the B story/subplot began to align with what was happening in the A story/main plot. I don’t want to give too much away so I won’t say more than that.

But I think that this is one of the cooler aspects of this book that I’m really proud of. It may not have been something I was actively trying to do on purpose at first, but once I realized it was sort of just naturally happening, I leaned into it. I hope that keen readers will also pick up on it.